Chapter 15 - Paula's Last Message
I did not sleep.
At three in the morning, I sat in Stefano's kitchen wearing borrowed sweatpants while Paula's cassette turned in an old player on the counter.
We had heard the first part in the tunnel. Mrs. Delaney told us there was more after several minutes of blank tape.
She was right.
At minute twenty-seven, Paula's voice returned.
"Nora, if somehow you're hearing this, I'm sorry. I wanted to write to you a hundred times. I did write to you. I just never sent the letters because every time I imagined you opening one, I imagined somebody watching your house."
I pressed my fist to my mouth.
"Your mom saved me. Not in a dramatic movie way. She made me breakfast. She made me go to class. She told me I wasn't responsible for what my father or brother did. Stefano was trying to help, even when he was terrible at it. Tell him I said that so he gets annoyed."
Stefano, across the room, closed his eyes.
Paula laughed softly on the tape.
"I found proof Salvatore is alive. Vincent is helping him. Teresa knows pieces but not all of it. She thinks Stefano chose the family over me. Maybe he did once. But he also gave me the cash I used to run. People can be both things, Nora. Coward and brave. Guilty and worth saving. Don't let anyone make the world simpler than it is. That's how men like my father win."
The tape hissed.
Then came the final message.
"And Nora? Your mom says you're going to spend your whole life taking care of everybody and pretending you don't mind when they forget to show up for you. Don't. Make people show up. Make them earn a chair at your table."
I started crying then.
Not politely.
Not the kind of tears you wipe away before anyone notices.
Stefano came around the counter and stood beside me without touching me.
I leaned into him first.
His arms closed around me carefully, like he was afraid grief might break if handled too fast.
"She knew me," I whispered.
"Yes."
"After all those years."
"Yes."
I looked up at him.
"Did she forgive you?"
He swallowed.
"I don't know."
"I think she did. Not completely. But enough."
His forehead touched mine.
For one breath, neither of us moved.
Then I kissed him.
It was not gentle because nothing about the night had been gentle. It was grief and relief and anger and being alive when other people were not.
When we separated, Stefano looked almost shaken.
"That breaks several of my newer rules."
"Your rules are terrible."
"I'm noticing."
My phone buzzed on the counter.
Unknown number.
One message.
Nora, it's Teresa. I can get you into the Moretti house before sunset. Do not tell Stefano.
I showed him the screen.
May you like
He read it once.
"Well," he said. "At least someone in this family is trying honesty."
